My First Blog

Hello lovely people!
Welcome to sushhiiblogs. This is my blog page where I will be sharing some part of my life, my experiences and the lessons I am learning all along.

Let me first introduce myself to you beautiful people! Hello, my name is Sukshiti but I prefer the name Sushi on most platforms just because my name is too difficult to pronounce besides, ‘sushi’ sounds cool. So, I am a sixteen year old who is very weird, socially awkward (I guess that’s the first impression I make). I only have a cool personality online otherwise I am a total weirdo. As I am the daughter of divorced parents and being oldest child, obviously I found the need to share my feelings and experiences here online.

I am someone who is always living in her fantasies (which actually does give me ideas to write about), I started developing a hobby for writing in the Covid lockdown when there was total chaos around me and I did not know what to do besides just sitting in front of my tablet for online classes. I like writing stories, poems and have about five stories which I left in between and now I have started my blog page to do something productive while I wait for my school to start. Ugh! I am so bored sitting at home.

So here goes my first blog. I am nervous and excited at the same time! This is about something which happened very recently. Actually, it happened today.
So let’s begin.
Some backstory; Ever since I was in sixth grade I just knew that I want to become a Fashion Designer but I was too shy to tell this to anyone, you will know the reason soon. I was so passionate about it. I used to make dresses from old clothes of my mom and grandma. I was somewhat good in studies so my dad and grandma thought that I should be an engineer or a chartered accountant, something like that. But the weird element of my family I am, I chose to be a fashion designer!
One day my dad asked me what I wanted to become when I grow up. I told him I wanted to become a Fashion Designer!
Now, in my country a career like fashion or any creative one is ‘not-so popular’ choice. I remember someone once told me that fashion designer means you are a tailor ( that still makes mad). Which was the reason I did not tell anyone about this. When I told my dad that I wanted to become a fashion designer he said it is not even a career or something like that, I don’t remember it so much. I was obviously hurt. But I had got an idea that after three to four years there is going to be a really hard time convincing him.
Fast forward to this year, I gave my tenth grade exams and my results were good. I got 89% and when I had to choose a stream, I chose science stream with physics, chemistry and maths as the subjects. I still don’t know why I did that. I am scared of these three subjects. So now I am like this sixteen year old girl confused with what she wants to do in her life- which is very normal for a teenager. I know, I wanted to do fashion designing but I wasn’t sure about that now. I wasn’t confident about that though I still wanted to do that. Me, being clueless and an idiot told my dad that I wanted do engineering (engineering and medical being the so-called safe options). I made a decision without giving any thought to it. My dad was happy, obviously. Then I go for the coaching classes for engineering entrance exams. Oh dear lord, I have never been so stressed and depressed in my entire life! I regretted my decision of doing this. But now I was scared of telling my dad that I wanted to quit these classes. Very soon I realize that I am definitely NOT made for such science-y stuff. So even if I get into the most prestigious institutes it would be useless as I don’t have those skills. But one thing I knew that I still wanted to study fashion. I was just scared to tell this to my dad.
So, this happened today, two weeks after I started the coaching classes. My dad calls me, I tell my dad that I want to quit the coaching classes and that I did not want to do engineering. He was not mad at all (well, he was-sarcasm) but he asked me the reason and what I wanted to do. I told him that I wanted to study fashion. He asked me what if I don’t get into good fashion college. He obviously knows that I am afraid of math and he thought math was the reason I decided to quit. He asks me about my backup plan. Well, to be honest I never thought about a backup plan. I think he was kind of right. But I tell him to let me try at least. I tell him that I’ll think about a backup plan. I cry, drama happens. In fact, I am writing this just after all this.

I just felt the need to share this otherwise I will keep it to myself, overthink about it and cry more. But at least now I know what I am definitely not going towards. I’ll convince my father somehow. He may not like it or he’ll be disappointed but not for long. He’ll eventually accept that. By the way, I am not complaining about my dad. I know he is worried about me but I think that I will get more success if I do what I am good at and like doing.
And also, I realized that I should share some things to my family because I had no one to support me today ’cause no one knew what I wanted to do, I never shared it. It was one drama filled evening. Also, I need to stay focused on my goals otherwise I am the one to suffer, like today. And I now know that NEVER make rash decisions.

So that was it. I was thinking about writing a blog for a while but never got something to write about or share. I guess today I got it. I am really nervous to post this but I got to post this before I change my mind or back out.
This blog may not have been a good one but as this is my first blog please excuse me. Thank you guys for reading my blog! I know this was super long blog but if you’ve read it from start to end thank you so much. I really appreciate that.
Love, Sushi